Is being barefoot so bad??

      Hello everyone!  I've been thinking about an interesting situation lately.  It all started with a post from Autism Daddy on facebook about his son taking his shoes off at home.  This short little post got a response from 181 people all saying the same thing!  I was one of them.  It made me curious to see if there were any more out there dealing with the same thing, or was this just a fluke?  So, I made a post over at www.myautismteam.com.  In two days I got nineteen replies saying the same thing! I don't know why this is surprising to me.  I guess I'm used to thinking that I'm the only one dealing with the challenge of autism and that is more and more not the case any more.  It's rather freeing in a way.  I tend to be a high strung, nervous kind of person.  The kind of person who worries way more than she should.  The type of person who likes to have a place for everything and everything in it's place.  I married a man who is rather similar.  Then we had children.  Child number one is a writer/artist.  Her creativity flows all over the house along with her papers, art supplies, dishes, food wrappers, shoes and lap top.  I've made a small inroad here, but there is always something I have to clean up once she is out the door or in bed for the night.  I've learned to tolerate her messes over the years.  Then we had our son.  Yet another very unique individual.  At first I was thrilled to see how neat he was.  Yeah, he isn't a slob like his sister!!  Then the truly autistic behaviors began.  Dad totally freaked out, and I was just stunned.  I suppose that's a topic for another post.  Anyway, when your child hits a certain age and you start looking towards his future, you start to take a closer look at some of his habits to see if anything can be done.  This is where my head has been at lately.  I'm trying to get my son to be a little more self-sufficient.  Someone that I don't have to worry about so much. Here's where the shoes come in.  He's always been barefoot at home.  When he was little his feet would get filthy from running outside.  He even got a wart on his foot then.  Ever since then I have been hyper vigilant about his feet.  I've offered flip flops, sandals, slippers of all sorts, never thought of the pool shoes that one mother mentioned, but they were all met with a refusal.  I had hoped that someone had a solution for me.  That I wouldn't have to worry about my son's feet being cold in the winter.  Two hundred parents said I wasn't alone.  Two hundred parents said we've been there and nothing drastic has happen yet.  I turned to my daughter's fiance, who happens to be an aspie.  His response "Is there something wrong with being barefoot?"  I stared at him for a minute.  Me in my slippers and socks and thought "Is there?"  Just yesterday I found some cookies that I had made all sorted by color.  I laughed and showed them to his sisters.  "Guess who's been in the cookies!"  We all laughed because this is one of his idiosyncrasies that we have come to accept and adore.  I guess I've found another one now.  He will wear sneakers or dress shoes when he has to go somewhere.  I pray he will never have to wear work boots for a job, because I just don't see that happening.  This has to be enough.  So what if he is barefoot at home?  Is there something wrong with it? Is there?  As long as his feet stay reasonably clean, and they usually are these days, I'm thinking he's just fine.  Sometimes it's the mom's that have to be taught!
        I have a recipe for you this month.  This one is Applesauce Spice Cake.  I got it from a Betty Crocker cookbook that I found at the library back in 2001. I don't remember it's name, but I hope they don't mind me sharing it here.  My son never, ever eats fruit.  The closest I get is apple juice or applesauce.  This is a hit with him as you can see by the photo.  It never lasts long around here.

Ingredients:
       2 1/2 cups flour
       1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
       1 teaspoon salt
       1 teaspoon cinnamon
       3/4 teaspoon nutmeg
       1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
       1/4 teaspoon baking powder
       1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
       2 cups sugar
       2 eggs
       1 16 oz can applesauce
       3/4 cup raisins

Directions:
        1.Grease and flour an 13 x 9 x 2 inch pan.
        2. Combine first seven ingredients and set aside.
        3. In mixer place soften butter, beat 30 seconds.  Add sugar.  Then add eggs, beating one minute after
             each.
        4. Add dry ingredients and applesauce alternately to beaten mixture.
        5. Stir in raisins by hand and turn into the pan.
        6. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.  It's done when toothpick comes out clean.  Cool on wire rack.

        We once were out of nutmeg and cloves.  We doubled the cinnamon and added ginger (about 1/2 teaspoon) to taste.  It still turned out yummy.

        Until next time, try to keep smiling everyone!  Hugs to you all.  Nancy

Happy St. Valentines Day!

      Happy St. Valentines Day everyone!  I hope you are all enjoying your day and giving your love bugs lots of hug and kisses!  On a day when love takes center stage, I hope we all remember to look beyond our immediate family and remember those who may be feeling alone or having a hard day today.  Do you have an elderly neighbor who could use a friendly phone call?  Do you know someone whose spouse is serving their country?  Reach out into the autism community, www.myautismteam.com is an awesome site and give a kind word to new parent of autism who could use some encouragement.  There are a lot of people out there who could use a little extra attention.  Last, but not least, there is another person you should remember today--yourself!  Our days as autism parents are very busy and stressful.  Don't forget to do a little something for yourself today.  A few minutes of exercise, a quick walk outdoors, dance to some music for a few minutes, just stop for a few minutes and breathe.  Whatever you choose to do, I hope you have a wonderful day today filled with love.  Hugs to you all!
                                                                           Nancy

Trying to look forward to the changes in 2013.

     Happy 2013 everyone!  I hope you all had an enjoyable holiday season.  Last weekend all our decorations came down and we are now  in the thick of what is usually the hardest part of the year for our family.  My husband paints houses for a living and this time of year there is next to no work for him to do.  Thankfully, he does have one job to do right now and as long as they pay him regularly, we should make it to income tax refund time. 
      We do have a couple of things to look forward to this year.  First, my oldest became engaged right after the new year.  There will be a wedding this summer. I guess I know where our refund is going, eh?!  Trying to get my son to be there for at least some of it, will be a challenge.  I foresee a whole blog on how we end up handling this. Anyone with any advice? 
       Also, my youngest daughter turns sixteen at the end of this month.  She says she wants white roses.  For this low budget family, this sounds like a lovely way to mark this special birthday.  Of course we will try for something else as well.  I'm just so proud of the young lady that she is becoming.  She is sweet, kind and so good with her big brother.  She is beginning to be able to control her ADD to a certain extent and her grades were really pretty good for the first time this past semester. 
        Last but not least, this is the year my son finishes up high school.  His teacher says he will get a diploma at the end of the year.  We also have a friend who just advised us to NOT let him have a diploma because more services would be available to him.  Meanwhile, his teacher has been trying all fall to get him set up with the programs that he would transfer into when his schooling is done.  This is turning out harder than any of us expected. 

        So lots of things to look forward to.  Lots of things that will make us learn and grow some more.  I hope 2013 is a great year for your families, filled with wonderful,positive things. 
        Now you maybe wondering what that photo is.  These are some sugar cookies that I made with my youngest over vacation to pass some of the time.  We had so much fun!  We were gifted with the colored sugar.  Some of that sugar is silver and some of it is gold! I had never seen gold or silver sugar before.  They really sparkle! While we were making these I remembered a friend who was very frustrated with being able to make these kinds of cookies.  Here is my advice for goof-proof cut out cookies.  First your surface has to be right.  I use an old pillowcase, but any smooth cloth will do.  Then you can't be stingy with the flour.  I keep my flour jar right there beside where I'm working.  Cover your cloth with at least an eighth of an inch of flour.  You need a good coating or your dough will stick.  You need a good coating of flour on your rolling pin too.  You may need to reapply while rolling as well.  Each time you roll out the dough you need to reflour your surface and your rolling pin.  Are you seeing the theme here?  Flour, flour, flour.  After this you need to bake them.  Some times cookies stick to the cookie sheet.  If you have the money there are silicone sheets and also parchment paper that you can line your pans with to guard against this kind of thing.  As I have said before, we are a low budget family.  I have never used either of those.  After many years of use, I just replaced my cookie sheets three years ago.  I've never had a cookie stick.  I think the real trick is to just watch them and make sure that they don't overcook.  These ideas also apply to other cutout cookies like gingerbread men.  I made my first gingerbread men this year!  I'd have taken a photo of those but I still need to work on my decorating skills!  Maybe next year....!
      All for now.  Next month will be Applesauce Spice Cake.  I just made some yesterday.  It is so moist and so aromatic!  I love filling my home with the smells of yummy baking!  Hugs to you all.
                                                            Nancy

Autism and the holidays.

     Hello everyone!  As I have been reading the blogs and reading parents comments on different web sites the biggest issue we all seem to have is expectations over the holidays.  We imagine a picture perfect holiday with all the decorations and presents, with all the holiday gatherings and with our perfect kids.  The problem is our children are not going to all of a sudden not have autism because it's the holidays.  They are still going to have all their issues and in order for us to enjoy what we can, we have to learn how to accommodate them and still be able to enjoy the holidays ourselves.

      My son had lots of sensitivity issues when he was young.  We had nothing on our walls and no knicknacks laying around either.  How do you decorate for the holidays then?  First we let him have his room as it was.  Second, we kept things fairly plain.  We decorated with their drawings and a few small pieces on our own dressers.  We put up a tree, but it was monochromatic in his favorite color (thankfully red!).   As you can see by the picture there were no decorations on it except for bows.  This is actually an amazing photo of him then because not only is he dressed but his shoes are on!  I'm not quite sure how we managed that one!  Anyway, You can see how plain it is and how he even wanted to try to tie on a bow.  Each year we added more to it as he himself improved.
      We have no family near us, but do attend a church on a regular basis and do have social events that we like to attend there.  Did we drag him there where he would have been uncomfortable, causing a scene and making us leave early?  Well, we tried but became wiser. When he was young we took turns going to social activities or didn't go at all.  When he became able to be on his own, our lives improved.  We always invite him to come, but he always says no.  Does this make me sad?  Yes, but he has to take things on in his own way and in his own time.  He does go out with us from time to time and we just enjoy those times all the more.

        Having a child on the autism spectrum is difficult at it's best.  The holidays just add to it.  Don't expect more from your child than they can normally handle.  Let them take the lead.  Show them decorations in the store and ask if they like it.  Start very simple and slowly add things as the years go by.  They get overloaded by more than one present?  Open the rest yourself and give them to them over the next few days.  They will still enjoy them, whether they opened them or not.  My advice is to give your child the gift of understanding this holiday season.  Give them the unconditional love and care that they deserve all year long, including the holidays.   This is our tree from a few years ago.  We have multicolored lights, garland and lots of decorations!  He even has taken on the chore of putting  the tree up! 
       Part of our holiday tradition is the baking of lots of cookies.  I tried for years to find a good recipe for cut out sugar cookies and finally found one a few years ago.  Unfortunately, the book won't let me reproduce the recipe but you can find it in- Christmas Cookies! A Cookbook with Cookie Cutters by Susan Devins, illustrated by Barbara Lehman.  I found most recipes to be rather bland, but this one is just sweet enough.  For additional fun, you can make your own colored sugar!  Add food coloring (assuming dyes are alright for your child) to half a cup of sugar and stir,stir, stir.  I found red impossible to make but was able to make some lovely colors for springtime.  It lasts a very long time.  I still have some ready to go from last spring.
I found my son never really got into making cookies, except for licking the beaters and waiting impatiently for the final product.  He is also very good at stacking the cookies in the cookie jars! 
       I hope you and your families have a wonderful holiday season.  I hope you are able to find moments to enjoy the things that are important to you.  Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy new year from my kitchen to yours! (Sorry, I don't know how to move the photos around!)  If you notice...I found a use for all those ribbons that used to go on the tree!!  Hugs everyone!

In thanksgiving and gratitude with pumpkin pie.

     Hello to my few readers who are still here.  I always have at least five views every month, and so for those few I continue on.  I want to reach out and help who I can, where I can.
     It's been a very hard month for us.  It actually started in October when we had our semi-annual appointment at the welfare office about our food stamps.  First, let me back track.  Two years ago my husband worked for a contractor as a painter for houses.  He worked for him for a number of years.  Since painting is a seasonal job here, and I felt I needed to stay home with our two handicapped children, we applied for and received food stamps.  They agreed to help us with about $600 a month.  Last year the man that my husband worked for decided to retire.  Being that we are both over the age of fifty, my husband didn't think anyone would likely hire him.  He worked out a deal with his boss and now the painting company is my husbands.  If our family car hadn't broken an axle and the car company given us money for it, we would have never had had the money to get the business off the ground in his name.  Last fall it was time to renew the food stamps again.  As a new business, my husband made much less money than he did the year before.  What did welfare decide this time?  We only qualified for $189 a month this time.  I was nervous as we went into last winter as to how we would handle everything with a loss of $400 to our budget.  Some how we survived.  Now last month, it was time again.  This year, our income wasn't any better than last year and guess what?  They said we don't qualify for food stamps any more.  I'm terrified.  We only have a handful of bills, gas, electric, rent, our COX bundle and the business insurance.  All of them except for the business insurance are behind at this point.  Most likely we will lose our COX bundle in an effort to keep surviving.  Could your son survive without his computer AND his tv???  This so isn't good.  However, when things get bad, I try to find something good to think about.
     I'm grateful that I had the experience for voting with my son for the first time this year.  That's right, he exercised his right to vote for the very  first time!  We had great discussions about how our government works and what the current issues are.  I have never been more informed before an election as I was this year and I owe it all to my son.  It was wonderful seeing him deciding what he thought was right for our country.   I got a glimpse of the man that is inside him getting ready to come out!
     I'm grateful that my church has a welfare program of it's own and we are able to get a limited bit of food if we really need it.  This pains me because I want to be the one helping others, not the one getting the help.  We do what we have to do for our kids though.  Humility is a hard lesson to learn.
     I'm grateful that my church has an employment program and that they are going to try and help me be job worthy again.  After being at home for eleven years, no one is hiring me and I apparently am in need of a huge redo.
      I am grateful for my health.  I've had a good year health wise.  I am on new medicine for my blood pressure and I feel much better now.  Keeping your health is so important.  Along those same lines, I am thankful that I have a plot now at the community garden.  As our budget shrinks, I still have some green beans in my freezer and some tomatoes ripening in my window.  It makes me feel a little less helpless and the fresh food is so much healthier for you.
      I wish I could stay positive but did you hear what President Obama said in his press conference this past week?  I've been worried that I might lose my health insurance and will have to pay for my pills,  I'm worried that my kids SSI payments may be reduced.  Then Pres. Obama says that if the physical cliff thing doesn't go well, he doesn't want to hurt the woman on SSI with handicapped kids. That means that I am his next target.  We can't afford any more loses here.  We aren't making it now.  Please pray for me and my family, for your family.  I've been homeless once and it was awful. 
     As I am struggling to find positive things to be thankful for this year, I am also thankful for my friends and for you.  For many years I thought I was all alone.  Then I found facebook and My Autism Team and all of a sudden my world opened up a bit.  I'm grateful for you all.  Next week we have the opportunity to sit around our tables and give thanks for what we have.  May we all be able to put our fears aside for that short period of time and find something positive to hang on to.  Happy Thanksgiving all!
     Here's my older daughter's Pumpkin Pie recipe.  She got it off a web site a few years ago, but I don't know which one.  It's my younger daughter's favorite pie!

PUMPKIN PIE

1 15oz. can of pumpkin
1 12oz can of evaporated milk
3/4 cup of sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 pie crust of your choice

     All you need to do is combine all the ingredients above and turn it into the pie crust of your choice.  I use the ones in the dairy case, but you could also use a ready made crumb crust or even make your own if you are that talented.  Place it into a 425 degree oven for 15 minutes,  Then reduce the heat to 350 degrees and bake for 40 to 50 more minutes or until an inserted knife comes out clean.
     As I've said above, this is a huge favorite at my house.  We make it year round when when we can.  I hope your family enjoys it too! 

My son wants to vote?!

      Hello everyone!  I hope everyone has had a very busy and productive month.  I have noticed that for me it does take about that long for me to come up with something informative and interesting to write about and hopefully you will find this interesting and informative! 
       Most recently I have been blogging about my daughter and her IEP meeting and the results from that.  I'm going to have to say that it is a slow process now.  I never heard from her English teacher about this years books, so I could try and get them in large print.  Instead, when the first book came home, I took turns reading it aloud with her.  I guess it was a success because  this morning she told me of a book club that they have at the school library!  This from the girl who would never willingly read a novel on her own!  We shall see how this developes.
       As for my son, we attended his school's open house about two weeks ago.  We were able to meet with his teacher and get a quick run down of the year.  We are supposed to have a "real" meeting sometime this month, but I haven't heard anything yet.  I really hate having to nag their teachers to follow up on what they say they are going to do.
       As far as I am concerned, I have something that I am accomplishing this month.  I am a woman over fifty who has high blood pressure.  It stays under control with medication, but I do get seen twice a year by the doctor to make sure everything is good.  I think one of the most important things we can do for our children is to take care of ourselves.   We need to be around as long as possible, as healthy as possible, for them.  With that in mind and also because my mom died of breast cancer, I get my yearly mammograms.  They are easy, not that uncomfortable, and you can usually find a source that will do it for free if you don't have insurance.  I urge all you ladies out there to take care of yourself.  That said, that is not what I am having done this month.  This month I am finally giving in to doctors orders and having a colonoscopy.  In the United States it is recommended to have one once you reach the age of fifty.  I am fifty-three, so the doctors have been after me for the past two years to get it done.  I have finally run out of excuses, I mean who really wants to have one of these?!  So off I will go on October 31st to make sure my insides are healthy.  I keep telling myself that I am doing it for my kids.  I am keeping myself healthy for my kids.  I'll let you all know what it was like.  According to the folks that I graduated high school with (we have a facebook page) it isn't too. too bad.  I'm glad I have them rooting me on!
      As you noticed by my the title of this post, my son has expressed an interest in voting this year.  For those of you not from the United States,( and I know you are there and I am amazed!) we are having a big election on November 6th.  Not only do we get to vote for our local officials, but it is a presidential election year as well.  All the cities and towns have been checking their voter registration lists and sending out update/registration forms for the  people.  I got one in the mail about a month ago.  It dawned on me that my son is 19 and could vote if he wanted.  I asked him and he surprised me by saying yes.  So we filled out the form and I am proud to say that my son is a registered voter now!  That done, the political education of my son and as a result, all of us, has begun.  It's been an interesting time.  We have gone over again how our local government works and who is up for reelection.  We are listening to all the presidential debates for the first time ever.  He even wants to watch the vice presidential debate tonight, that I was going to skip!  I am so proud of my son wanting to be informed and asking all the questions that he is asking.  He is teaching all of us here how to be better citizens.  I hope all of you from the United States of America join me and my family by going out to vote on November 6th. 
      It's autumn here, the leaves are turning beautiful colors and all kinds of apples are in the stores!  I love the aromatic smells of ginger bread, pumpkin pie and all things apple!  It just makes the house smell good!  Here's a recipe I made from two recipes to get the flavor I like.  Enjoy!
APPLE OATMEAL CRISP
7 medium apples, cored,peeled and cut into 1/4 inch slices
2 tablespoons lemon juice (optional)
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons plus 1/3 cup flour
1/2 cup old fashioned oats
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
6 tablespoons butter
Directions-
!. In a 1 1/2 quart baking dish toss apples with lemon juice.  This is so they don't turn brown in the air.  I usually skip this and just coat them quickly with 1/2 cup brown sugar and 2 tablespoons of flour.  Toss and coat throughly.
2. In a small bowl combine oats, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup brown sugar, and 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon. Cut in butter until it looks like course crumbs.  Sprinkle over apples.
3. Bake in an oven set at 425, 30 to 35 minutes, until the apples are softened and the topping slightly brown.

It's sooo good!  Oh!  Almost forgot- Happy Halloween!  I hope you are able to enjoy the holiday at some level with your kids.  My son only wore a costume once.  We just said he came as himself!  I also read recently that the sound of the crunching leaves under feet can bother those with sensitivity issues.  Another good reason to keep the leaves raked off your walkways!  I'd love to hear how you celebrate.  Do you go around the neighborhood?  Do you do a family party at home?  My church throws a chowder and chili cook-off followed by a trunk or treat.  That means we decorate the trunks of our cars and hand out goodies from there!  It's a safe, fun way to celebrate!  Last year it rained, so we moved into the classrooms to hand out the candy.  It worked out great.  Love and hugs to you all!
                                                                                     Nancy

The joy of advocates, IEPs and baked apples!

      What a busy September it has been with school starting for all three of my children.  The oldest is in her last year of college, and thankfully doesn't need any help from mom and dad.  We keep a roof over head, provide moral support and stay available for daily chats.  That is all the support she needs.
       My autistic son is in his last year of high school.  We had to deal with transportation issues with him,as the bus system had him listed as graduated.  It took two days to straighten out, but he's all set now.  I still don't know what his class schedule is this year and that is next on my to do list.  I've had to direct all my attention to my third child so far this school year.
       Child number three, my daughter with ADD and learning disabilities, is beginning her sophomore year in high school.  We didn't know what her schedule was going to be either.  I went to school the first day of school to see her schedule and make sure it was appropriate.  It all looked fine to me.  Last week I get the call to do her IEP.  I went on Friday and only her math teacher/case manager was there.  He was flipping out and saying maybe she should be in a different school.  So I let him get everything off his chest and said I wanted to schedule another IEP meeting with all the people who were supposed to be there actually there.  It was scheduled for this morning.  When you have an IEP meeting, your children's teachers should be there; OT, PT, and Speech teachers should be there; the school psychiatrist or social worker should be there and finally a representative from the SpEd dept of the school system should be there.  Over the weekend I contacted a couple that I know from my church who have two, grown, handicapped sons.  The husband is a retired judge and knows all the legal information. The wife has been involved with an agency that deals with handicapped adults for years.  They offered to come with me today for the next IEP meeting.  They had me call the school first thing this morning to let them know I was bringing advocates with me.  I'm here to tell you that everyone showed up for this meeting!  What a difference!  It turned out that my advocates have known the school dept. representative for years.  We all had a great conversation about my daughter, her strengths and weaknesses.  My advocates were so helpful in asking the right questions and also providing some great information on some services as well.  There will be some testing to see if she qualifies for any visual technology.  The math teacher was calmed down and actually admitted that she did really well on a quiz last Friday.  I am so, so glad that I bought advocates with me this time.  I have always gone by myself to IEP meetings.  I won't be going alone any more.  You get more respect and consequently more results if you have an advocate with you.  It's nice to feel like I did my all for my daughter today. 
         BAKED APPLES and fall, they just seem to go together.  I love going to the farmer's market and smelling all the fresh picked apples.  My son loves apple juice and apple sauce.  It seemed a natural to try him on other apple treats.  The easiest is the baked apple.  I use a recipe from my Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.  I'm not sure that I can print it so I'll just say that it uses apples, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, raisins and a little bit of water or apple juice for the apples to sit in.  I'm sure there is a cooking site that has their own version that you can find.  My son doesn't like cooked raisins and the wrinkly brown skin was a turn off.  However, once I scraped the apple out of the skin, he was fine with it.  Future blogs will have my very own apple crisp recipe and a recipe for apple sauce spice cake.  My son and all my family love both of these, plus they make the kitchen smell so good!  So stay tuned.  I hope you enjoy your fall and all the wonderful produce that will be out there!  Hugs to all of you!
                                                                                   Nancy