Autism and the holidays.

     Hello everyone!  As I have been reading the blogs and reading parents comments on different web sites the biggest issue we all seem to have is expectations over the holidays.  We imagine a picture perfect holiday with all the decorations and presents, with all the holiday gatherings and with our perfect kids.  The problem is our children are not going to all of a sudden not have autism because it's the holidays.  They are still going to have all their issues and in order for us to enjoy what we can, we have to learn how to accommodate them and still be able to enjoy the holidays ourselves.

      My son had lots of sensitivity issues when he was young.  We had nothing on our walls and no knicknacks laying around either.  How do you decorate for the holidays then?  First we let him have his room as it was.  Second, we kept things fairly plain.  We decorated with their drawings and a few small pieces on our own dressers.  We put up a tree, but it was monochromatic in his favorite color (thankfully red!).   As you can see by the picture there were no decorations on it except for bows.  This is actually an amazing photo of him then because not only is he dressed but his shoes are on!  I'm not quite sure how we managed that one!  Anyway, You can see how plain it is and how he even wanted to try to tie on a bow.  Each year we added more to it as he himself improved.
      We have no family near us, but do attend a church on a regular basis and do have social events that we like to attend there.  Did we drag him there where he would have been uncomfortable, causing a scene and making us leave early?  Well, we tried but became wiser. When he was young we took turns going to social activities or didn't go at all.  When he became able to be on his own, our lives improved.  We always invite him to come, but he always says no.  Does this make me sad?  Yes, but he has to take things on in his own way and in his own time.  He does go out with us from time to time and we just enjoy those times all the more.

        Having a child on the autism spectrum is difficult at it's best.  The holidays just add to it.  Don't expect more from your child than they can normally handle.  Let them take the lead.  Show them decorations in the store and ask if they like it.  Start very simple and slowly add things as the years go by.  They get overloaded by more than one present?  Open the rest yourself and give them to them over the next few days.  They will still enjoy them, whether they opened them or not.  My advice is to give your child the gift of understanding this holiday season.  Give them the unconditional love and care that they deserve all year long, including the holidays.   This is our tree from a few years ago.  We have multicolored lights, garland and lots of decorations!  He even has taken on the chore of putting  the tree up! 
       Part of our holiday tradition is the baking of lots of cookies.  I tried for years to find a good recipe for cut out sugar cookies and finally found one a few years ago.  Unfortunately, the book won't let me reproduce the recipe but you can find it in- Christmas Cookies! A Cookbook with Cookie Cutters by Susan Devins, illustrated by Barbara Lehman.  I found most recipes to be rather bland, but this one is just sweet enough.  For additional fun, you can make your own colored sugar!  Add food coloring (assuming dyes are alright for your child) to half a cup of sugar and stir,stir, stir.  I found red impossible to make but was able to make some lovely colors for springtime.  It lasts a very long time.  I still have some ready to go from last spring.
I found my son never really got into making cookies, except for licking the beaters and waiting impatiently for the final product.  He is also very good at stacking the cookies in the cookie jars! 
       I hope you and your families have a wonderful holiday season.  I hope you are able to find moments to enjoy the things that are important to you.  Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy new year from my kitchen to yours! (Sorry, I don't know how to move the photos around!)  If you notice...I found a use for all those ribbons that used to go on the tree!!  Hugs everyone!