Autism and the holidays.

     Hello everyone!  As I have been reading the blogs and reading parents comments on different web sites the biggest issue we all seem to have is expectations over the holidays.  We imagine a picture perfect holiday with all the decorations and presents, with all the holiday gatherings and with our perfect kids.  The problem is our children are not going to all of a sudden not have autism because it's the holidays.  They are still going to have all their issues and in order for us to enjoy what we can, we have to learn how to accommodate them and still be able to enjoy the holidays ourselves.

      My son had lots of sensitivity issues when he was young.  We had nothing on our walls and no knicknacks laying around either.  How do you decorate for the holidays then?  First we let him have his room as it was.  Second, we kept things fairly plain.  We decorated with their drawings and a few small pieces on our own dressers.  We put up a tree, but it was monochromatic in his favorite color (thankfully red!).   As you can see by the picture there were no decorations on it except for bows.  This is actually an amazing photo of him then because not only is he dressed but his shoes are on!  I'm not quite sure how we managed that one!  Anyway, You can see how plain it is and how he even wanted to try to tie on a bow.  Each year we added more to it as he himself improved.
      We have no family near us, but do attend a church on a regular basis and do have social events that we like to attend there.  Did we drag him there where he would have been uncomfortable, causing a scene and making us leave early?  Well, we tried but became wiser. When he was young we took turns going to social activities or didn't go at all.  When he became able to be on his own, our lives improved.  We always invite him to come, but he always says no.  Does this make me sad?  Yes, but he has to take things on in his own way and in his own time.  He does go out with us from time to time and we just enjoy those times all the more.

        Having a child on the autism spectrum is difficult at it's best.  The holidays just add to it.  Don't expect more from your child than they can normally handle.  Let them take the lead.  Show them decorations in the store and ask if they like it.  Start very simple and slowly add things as the years go by.  They get overloaded by more than one present?  Open the rest yourself and give them to them over the next few days.  They will still enjoy them, whether they opened them or not.  My advice is to give your child the gift of understanding this holiday season.  Give them the unconditional love and care that they deserve all year long, including the holidays.   This is our tree from a few years ago.  We have multicolored lights, garland and lots of decorations!  He even has taken on the chore of putting  the tree up! 
       Part of our holiday tradition is the baking of lots of cookies.  I tried for years to find a good recipe for cut out sugar cookies and finally found one a few years ago.  Unfortunately, the book won't let me reproduce the recipe but you can find it in- Christmas Cookies! A Cookbook with Cookie Cutters by Susan Devins, illustrated by Barbara Lehman.  I found most recipes to be rather bland, but this one is just sweet enough.  For additional fun, you can make your own colored sugar!  Add food coloring (assuming dyes are alright for your child) to half a cup of sugar and stir,stir, stir.  I found red impossible to make but was able to make some lovely colors for springtime.  It lasts a very long time.  I still have some ready to go from last spring.
I found my son never really got into making cookies, except for licking the beaters and waiting impatiently for the final product.  He is also very good at stacking the cookies in the cookie jars! 
       I hope you and your families have a wonderful holiday season.  I hope you are able to find moments to enjoy the things that are important to you.  Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy new year from my kitchen to yours! (Sorry, I don't know how to move the photos around!)  If you notice...I found a use for all those ribbons that used to go on the tree!!  Hugs everyone!

In thanksgiving and gratitude with pumpkin pie.

     Hello to my few readers who are still here.  I always have at least five views every month, and so for those few I continue on.  I want to reach out and help who I can, where I can.
     It's been a very hard month for us.  It actually started in October when we had our semi-annual appointment at the welfare office about our food stamps.  First, let me back track.  Two years ago my husband worked for a contractor as a painter for houses.  He worked for him for a number of years.  Since painting is a seasonal job here, and I felt I needed to stay home with our two handicapped children, we applied for and received food stamps.  They agreed to help us with about $600 a month.  Last year the man that my husband worked for decided to retire.  Being that we are both over the age of fifty, my husband didn't think anyone would likely hire him.  He worked out a deal with his boss and now the painting company is my husbands.  If our family car hadn't broken an axle and the car company given us money for it, we would have never had had the money to get the business off the ground in his name.  Last fall it was time to renew the food stamps again.  As a new business, my husband made much less money than he did the year before.  What did welfare decide this time?  We only qualified for $189 a month this time.  I was nervous as we went into last winter as to how we would handle everything with a loss of $400 to our budget.  Some how we survived.  Now last month, it was time again.  This year, our income wasn't any better than last year and guess what?  They said we don't qualify for food stamps any more.  I'm terrified.  We only have a handful of bills, gas, electric, rent, our COX bundle and the business insurance.  All of them except for the business insurance are behind at this point.  Most likely we will lose our COX bundle in an effort to keep surviving.  Could your son survive without his computer AND his tv???  This so isn't good.  However, when things get bad, I try to find something good to think about.
     I'm grateful that I had the experience for voting with my son for the first time this year.  That's right, he exercised his right to vote for the very  first time!  We had great discussions about how our government works and what the current issues are.  I have never been more informed before an election as I was this year and I owe it all to my son.  It was wonderful seeing him deciding what he thought was right for our country.   I got a glimpse of the man that is inside him getting ready to come out!
     I'm grateful that my church has a welfare program of it's own and we are able to get a limited bit of food if we really need it.  This pains me because I want to be the one helping others, not the one getting the help.  We do what we have to do for our kids though.  Humility is a hard lesson to learn.
     I'm grateful that my church has an employment program and that they are going to try and help me be job worthy again.  After being at home for eleven years, no one is hiring me and I apparently am in need of a huge redo.
      I am grateful for my health.  I've had a good year health wise.  I am on new medicine for my blood pressure and I feel much better now.  Keeping your health is so important.  Along those same lines, I am thankful that I have a plot now at the community garden.  As our budget shrinks, I still have some green beans in my freezer and some tomatoes ripening in my window.  It makes me feel a little less helpless and the fresh food is so much healthier for you.
      I wish I could stay positive but did you hear what President Obama said in his press conference this past week?  I've been worried that I might lose my health insurance and will have to pay for my pills,  I'm worried that my kids SSI payments may be reduced.  Then Pres. Obama says that if the physical cliff thing doesn't go well, he doesn't want to hurt the woman on SSI with handicapped kids. That means that I am his next target.  We can't afford any more loses here.  We aren't making it now.  Please pray for me and my family, for your family.  I've been homeless once and it was awful. 
     As I am struggling to find positive things to be thankful for this year, I am also thankful for my friends and for you.  For many years I thought I was all alone.  Then I found facebook and My Autism Team and all of a sudden my world opened up a bit.  I'm grateful for you all.  Next week we have the opportunity to sit around our tables and give thanks for what we have.  May we all be able to put our fears aside for that short period of time and find something positive to hang on to.  Happy Thanksgiving all!
     Here's my older daughter's Pumpkin Pie recipe.  She got it off a web site a few years ago, but I don't know which one.  It's my younger daughter's favorite pie!

PUMPKIN PIE

1 15oz. can of pumpkin
1 12oz can of evaporated milk
3/4 cup of sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 pie crust of your choice

     All you need to do is combine all the ingredients above and turn it into the pie crust of your choice.  I use the ones in the dairy case, but you could also use a ready made crumb crust or even make your own if you are that talented.  Place it into a 425 degree oven for 15 minutes,  Then reduce the heat to 350 degrees and bake for 40 to 50 more minutes or until an inserted knife comes out clean.
     As I've said above, this is a huge favorite at my house.  We make it year round when when we can.  I hope your family enjoys it too! 

My son wants to vote?!

      Hello everyone!  I hope everyone has had a very busy and productive month.  I have noticed that for me it does take about that long for me to come up with something informative and interesting to write about and hopefully you will find this interesting and informative! 
       Most recently I have been blogging about my daughter and her IEP meeting and the results from that.  I'm going to have to say that it is a slow process now.  I never heard from her English teacher about this years books, so I could try and get them in large print.  Instead, when the first book came home, I took turns reading it aloud with her.  I guess it was a success because  this morning she told me of a book club that they have at the school library!  This from the girl who would never willingly read a novel on her own!  We shall see how this developes.
       As for my son, we attended his school's open house about two weeks ago.  We were able to meet with his teacher and get a quick run down of the year.  We are supposed to have a "real" meeting sometime this month, but I haven't heard anything yet.  I really hate having to nag their teachers to follow up on what they say they are going to do.
       As far as I am concerned, I have something that I am accomplishing this month.  I am a woman over fifty who has high blood pressure.  It stays under control with medication, but I do get seen twice a year by the doctor to make sure everything is good.  I think one of the most important things we can do for our children is to take care of ourselves.   We need to be around as long as possible, as healthy as possible, for them.  With that in mind and also because my mom died of breast cancer, I get my yearly mammograms.  They are easy, not that uncomfortable, and you can usually find a source that will do it for free if you don't have insurance.  I urge all you ladies out there to take care of yourself.  That said, that is not what I am having done this month.  This month I am finally giving in to doctors orders and having a colonoscopy.  In the United States it is recommended to have one once you reach the age of fifty.  I am fifty-three, so the doctors have been after me for the past two years to get it done.  I have finally run out of excuses, I mean who really wants to have one of these?!  So off I will go on October 31st to make sure my insides are healthy.  I keep telling myself that I am doing it for my kids.  I am keeping myself healthy for my kids.  I'll let you all know what it was like.  According to the folks that I graduated high school with (we have a facebook page) it isn't too. too bad.  I'm glad I have them rooting me on!
      As you noticed by my the title of this post, my son has expressed an interest in voting this year.  For those of you not from the United States,( and I know you are there and I am amazed!) we are having a big election on November 6th.  Not only do we get to vote for our local officials, but it is a presidential election year as well.  All the cities and towns have been checking their voter registration lists and sending out update/registration forms for the  people.  I got one in the mail about a month ago.  It dawned on me that my son is 19 and could vote if he wanted.  I asked him and he surprised me by saying yes.  So we filled out the form and I am proud to say that my son is a registered voter now!  That done, the political education of my son and as a result, all of us, has begun.  It's been an interesting time.  We have gone over again how our local government works and who is up for reelection.  We are listening to all the presidential debates for the first time ever.  He even wants to watch the vice presidential debate tonight, that I was going to skip!  I am so proud of my son wanting to be informed and asking all the questions that he is asking.  He is teaching all of us here how to be better citizens.  I hope all of you from the United States of America join me and my family by going out to vote on November 6th. 
      It's autumn here, the leaves are turning beautiful colors and all kinds of apples are in the stores!  I love the aromatic smells of ginger bread, pumpkin pie and all things apple!  It just makes the house smell good!  Here's a recipe I made from two recipes to get the flavor I like.  Enjoy!
APPLE OATMEAL CRISP
7 medium apples, cored,peeled and cut into 1/4 inch slices
2 tablespoons lemon juice (optional)
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons plus 1/3 cup flour
1/2 cup old fashioned oats
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
6 tablespoons butter
Directions-
!. In a 1 1/2 quart baking dish toss apples with lemon juice.  This is so they don't turn brown in the air.  I usually skip this and just coat them quickly with 1/2 cup brown sugar and 2 tablespoons of flour.  Toss and coat throughly.
2. In a small bowl combine oats, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup brown sugar, and 1/4 teaspoon of cinnamon. Cut in butter until it looks like course crumbs.  Sprinkle over apples.
3. Bake in an oven set at 425, 30 to 35 minutes, until the apples are softened and the topping slightly brown.

It's sooo good!  Oh!  Almost forgot- Happy Halloween!  I hope you are able to enjoy the holiday at some level with your kids.  My son only wore a costume once.  We just said he came as himself!  I also read recently that the sound of the crunching leaves under feet can bother those with sensitivity issues.  Another good reason to keep the leaves raked off your walkways!  I'd love to hear how you celebrate.  Do you go around the neighborhood?  Do you do a family party at home?  My church throws a chowder and chili cook-off followed by a trunk or treat.  That means we decorate the trunks of our cars and hand out goodies from there!  It's a safe, fun way to celebrate!  Last year it rained, so we moved into the classrooms to hand out the candy.  It worked out great.  Love and hugs to you all!
                                                                                     Nancy

The joy of advocates, IEPs and baked apples!

      What a busy September it has been with school starting for all three of my children.  The oldest is in her last year of college, and thankfully doesn't need any help from mom and dad.  We keep a roof over head, provide moral support and stay available for daily chats.  That is all the support she needs.
       My autistic son is in his last year of high school.  We had to deal with transportation issues with him,as the bus system had him listed as graduated.  It took two days to straighten out, but he's all set now.  I still don't know what his class schedule is this year and that is next on my to do list.  I've had to direct all my attention to my third child so far this school year.
       Child number three, my daughter with ADD and learning disabilities, is beginning her sophomore year in high school.  We didn't know what her schedule was going to be either.  I went to school the first day of school to see her schedule and make sure it was appropriate.  It all looked fine to me.  Last week I get the call to do her IEP.  I went on Friday and only her math teacher/case manager was there.  He was flipping out and saying maybe she should be in a different school.  So I let him get everything off his chest and said I wanted to schedule another IEP meeting with all the people who were supposed to be there actually there.  It was scheduled for this morning.  When you have an IEP meeting, your children's teachers should be there; OT, PT, and Speech teachers should be there; the school psychiatrist or social worker should be there and finally a representative from the SpEd dept of the school system should be there.  Over the weekend I contacted a couple that I know from my church who have two, grown, handicapped sons.  The husband is a retired judge and knows all the legal information. The wife has been involved with an agency that deals with handicapped adults for years.  They offered to come with me today for the next IEP meeting.  They had me call the school first thing this morning to let them know I was bringing advocates with me.  I'm here to tell you that everyone showed up for this meeting!  What a difference!  It turned out that my advocates have known the school dept. representative for years.  We all had a great conversation about my daughter, her strengths and weaknesses.  My advocates were so helpful in asking the right questions and also providing some great information on some services as well.  There will be some testing to see if she qualifies for any visual technology.  The math teacher was calmed down and actually admitted that she did really well on a quiz last Friday.  I am so, so glad that I bought advocates with me this time.  I have always gone by myself to IEP meetings.  I won't be going alone any more.  You get more respect and consequently more results if you have an advocate with you.  It's nice to feel like I did my all for my daughter today. 
         BAKED APPLES and fall, they just seem to go together.  I love going to the farmer's market and smelling all the fresh picked apples.  My son loves apple juice and apple sauce.  It seemed a natural to try him on other apple treats.  The easiest is the baked apple.  I use a recipe from my Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.  I'm not sure that I can print it so I'll just say that it uses apples, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, raisins and a little bit of water or apple juice for the apples to sit in.  I'm sure there is a cooking site that has their own version that you can find.  My son doesn't like cooked raisins and the wrinkly brown skin was a turn off.  However, once I scraped the apple out of the skin, he was fine with it.  Future blogs will have my very own apple crisp recipe and a recipe for apple sauce spice cake.  My son and all my family love both of these, plus they make the kitchen smell so good!  So stay tuned.  I hope you enjoy your fall and all the wonderful produce that will be out there!  Hugs to all of you!
                                                                                   Nancy

Some good information

      Hi everyone!  This is just a quick post to give you all some interesting information that passed my way today.  Going through my emails I found the recent Autism Speaks blog.  I read them to keep up on the latest news about autism.  I've read a lot of negative things about Autism Speaks recently on facebook, but I find them informative and I appreciate the research that they fund.  Any way, todays blog had an article entitled Finding Credible Autism Research.  They listed many places to look using many types of media. I wish I had a list like this 16 years ago when my son was first diagnosed!  All I got was a manila envelope with copies of a few articles in it from the Developmental Pediatrician that we saw! The world knows so much more about autism now than it did back then.  I'm so glad the information is getting easier to find. You can go to the Autism Speaks/blog web site to read it or my facebook page Autism and Cooking.  I have posted it there. 
       I hope you are all enjoying your weekend.  We've had glorious weather so far.  Today was warm, with blue skies and fluffy white clouds.  A perfect day by my standards.  I got out for a walk with my daughter and soaked it all in. Hugs to you all!
                                                Nancy

Sensitivities and school

      For at least the first three years of my son's elementary school years, this is how he looked as soon as he came home off the bus.  Off would come the shoes and socks, quickly followed by the pants or shorts.  Why?  In short, he was extremely over-sensitive to many things.  In my first real blog I talked about how we had to deal with this at home.  With school, the list of things increased. 
      He would only wear certain sneakers.  The ones that would stay on his feet at the store, were the ones that we bought.  Socks had to have the seams running across the top of the toes, not on the ends and sometimes had to be turned inside out.  To this day, he will not wear jeans.  He wears sweat pants because they fit snugly around his waist without the use of a belt.  He will wear a light weight dress pant.  I truly hope that the person who came up with the idea of printing labels on t-shirts, instead of sewing a label on, is a very rich person now.  What a wonderful thing that is!
      So now let's say you actually manage to get your child dressed for school.  You get him to school.  He likes  the school and seems to like his teacher.  Does he/she have a melt down after being there for awhile after initially seeming happy?  I read an article that said that even the pitch, volume or timbre of a new voice in class can set some kids off.  Was there a fire drill that day?  Those loud noises can really be jarring to our kids.  Suggest to the teacher to be warned way ahead of time.  That way they can practice, and parents can make the choice to keep their child home that day if necessary.   Did the melt down occur during gym?  Some children have a hard time with the whistle that gym teacher's blow to get the children's attention.  Suggest to the teacher to give your child a warning before he/she blows the whistle or come up with another method to get everyone's attention.  Some children don't like to feel hot or sweaty.  They may need frequent breaks.
       Some children are over-sensitive to odors.  We have had this problem at our house.  Some children can react to a smell 1 to 3 hours later after smelling it.  Here is a list of things to watch out for: perfumes, soaps, lotions, deodorants, hairsprays, air fresheners, gases from things like new rugs, plastics, rubber, paints, and paint thinners.  Children with a runny nose like allergies or itchy skin may be suffering from these kind of things.  I must say that my son's elementary school teachers were very good about this.  They never wore perfume or anything with an odor.  Windows were open as much as possible.  The floors were linoleum except for a small rug in the reading area.  Speak with your child's teacher if you think the room needs improvements and suggest ideas.  Don't just complain. 
       As far as the home scene, my eldest daughter loves all things smelly!  I felt that I could not restrict her in these things, but she is made to keep it to a minimum and to always have her bedroom window open as she is spraying.  I also have an air purifier in my bedroom so we have a "clean" room to go to if someone needs a break from a particular odor. All I can say is that it works for us.  My children also happen to suffer at times from seasonal allergies.  Claritin is a staple in our medicine cabinet when needed.  Always talk to your children's doctor before giving them a new over the counter medicine.
       School starts for us tomorrow.  I truly hope you all have a smooth transition back to or starting school.  I have found that there is always something to be dealt with every year with both of my SpEd kids.  This year my son wasn't put on the list to get a bus to school.  Not sure how long that is going to take to fix or how I'm going to get him to school in the meantime.  My daughter?  She isn't going to get her schedule until she walks into the door of school this year.  Her IEP is in the fall, so we have no idea what she is taking, with whom or if it is even appropriate for her.  I'll be walking with her to school to find out what is what. 
      I do have an after school snack idea for you- corn bread.  It's plain and simple.  I buy  the cheap corn muffin/bread mix that comes in the little boxes for about a dollar.  I stock up when they are on sale.  My son loves it warm from the oven!  It can be crumbly, so try to not over bake it. 
      My best to all of you.  As always, I hope I have helped someone if only in a little way.  Hugs to you all!
                                                     Nancy

Transitioning to a new school

     As a mother of three, I have gone through my fair share of transitions to new schools.  I've seen lots of posts on this topic and thought I would add my voice as well.
     To me the work of transitioning begins in the spring.  The schools here hold open houses in the spring and I went to them all.  I talked to the principal, the teachers, poked my nose into the  classrooms.  I made sure I got a good feel of the school before choosing it as my child's new school.
     With school just two weeks away, we are backing up our bedtime.  I saw a recommendation of backing up 15 minutes at a time.  You should get them (and yourself!) up earlier too.  I know, I hate getting up early!  During the summer I usually sleep until around 9am.  School days require me to be up at 6:30. Ugh!  Time for me to get ready.  Luckily my son is a natural early riser! 
      Prepare a one page brief about your child's disability and the assistance they will be needing.  Include allergies and any safety precautions.  Their old teacher will be sending their folder of information along, but it takes time to get to the new school.  Also, teachers just don't have the time to read through the mountains of paper that are usually there except during IEP meetings. Sorry, but that's the truth.
      Attend any and all orientation events.  Renew relationships started during the open house.  Again, talk with the principal, head of Special Ed., the school nurse and the teacher.  You can say something like " I'm so excited that Bobby will be attending your school!  We chose this school because....I think Bobby will be happy here because......I look forward to working with you.
       If for some reason your school doesn't do an open house or orientation, you could write a social story.  I'd also do a drive  by the school.  Let them get out and walk around a bit in the school yard.  Anything to make it more familiar to them. If they are going to go by bus for the first time, go to the bus yard.  Let them see and touch a bus.  Remember how visual our kids are.  Anything they can see, touch, hear will help them adjust to the school.
       I'd let them ride the bus the very first day.  Meet them at the school with lots of praise. Then take them in to meet the new teacher.  Of course, if  your child is older you may not have to go through all this.
       My last bit of advice is once you are certain your child is safe at school, that all their accommodations are being met, and they seem happy there--it's time to leave.  It took two weeks of going back and forth to get my daughter settled in middle school and just as long last year for high school.  Maybe your child will be all set the first day of school.  I certainly hope so!  It's a skill to learn from someone other than your parent and our kids need that.  They need to stand on their own two feet in a safe environment without you hovering once all the kinks are worked out.  Cutting the apron strings, as it used to be called, is good for you and them.  Go home, enjoy the quiet, watch your favorite soap and bake a batch of cookies for after school!!
       Enjoy these last two weeks with your children!  We still have a trip to the beach planned and a trip to get soft-served ice cream.  Yumm!
                                                 Nancy 

Teens with Executive Function Disorder « Smart Kids With LD

Teens with Executive Function Disorder « Smart Kids With LD  .  I saw this interesting article on my facebook page and decided to try and share it with you.  I have a daughter with ADD and this looks to me like good information.     Nancy

Shave and a haircut

     Hello everyone!  I've been wanting to write this blog for a long time.  As a matter of fact this is what got me to start blogging in the first place.  When my son was finally able to shave all on his own last year, I had no one to celebrate with.  There was no one I knew, besides his teacher, who would even understand.  I knew I had to find some others like myself and so I started exploring on facebook.  I found many blogs from mothers with young children and finally through them I found some mothers with older children.  It's been quite the journey reaching out to you all.  I don't have many people checking me out.  I don't mind.  I just hope I help the few that do.
      A number of the things that I read are about the trauma of getting our children's haircut.  My experience wasn't any different at first.  We took him to the hairdresser and he didn't even make it to the chair!  He totally wigged out and had to be removed from the store.  I apologized and offered to pay.  The nice young lady replied "Why?  I never got to cut his hair!"  Upon returning home, I informed my son that his hair was going to be getting cut and that I was going to do it.  Now I'm not a professional hairdresser and all I had been doing was trimming my daughter's bangs up to this point, but I knew I had to try.  The result was the "bowl cut" you see above.  It was all I could manage with all his wriggling around. Sometimes it took more that one sitting to accomplish this.  I remember sending him to school with one side of his bangs done once!  I found that by giving him control over how long it took by either stopping for the day if it was real bad, or taking a short break on a good day, he grew to tolerate getting his haircut.  When he was just about to enter middle school, a young lady in my church decided to teach the women in my church how to give a haircut!  I was thrilled!  She taught me how to layer and not be so afraid to whack away at my son's hair!  As I learned and practiced, so my son learned to sit longer and longer for me.  Finally the day came when my husband said that my haircuts just weren't hitting the mark anymore.  It was time for another trip to the hairdresser.  Only we didn't take him to a hairdresser, we took him to this old barber, with his own little shop.  There was only one chair.  The clients were all over fifty and quite compassionate as we struggled to get him adjusted.  It wasn't until he grew big enough to sit in the chair without a pad under him that he finally was able to relax in the chair. Eventually a few years after that I took him to a chain hairdresser for a more "handsome" haircut  than the buzz cut that the barber always gave him.  It's been smooth sailing ever since.
      Of course, by this time my son was starting to grow facial hair.  I thought I had a new nightmare on my hands.  His dad has a mustache and thankfully my son said he'd like one too.  Whew!  That put it off for awhile.  Eventually the night came though that the shaving had to begin.  I made him watch his father and he got all nervous, running around.  As with everything, I had to be the one to do it. He immediately took over putting the shaving cream on.  Yes!  Take control, my son! He put it on a finger full at a time, as if he was fingerpainting his face, but he put it on!  I had to do the shaving. When he had to start shaving every day, he was no where near taking it all over on his own.  We decided to buy an electric razor.  It is somewhat thin like the hand razor he was used to seeing.  I was worried that the buzzing and vibration might bother him.  He did get all wiggly the first time we tried.  The second time, I made him try to do some.  The night he took the razor from my hand and said he would do it, I let out a yell!  I was so excited!  He has been taking care of  his face ever since.  Well, okay, I still get called in to trim his mustache every so often!  Young man has to look good! 
       For today's stress relief, I recommend peanut butter cookies.  If your child likes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he'll probably like these too. A sneaky way to get a wee bit more of protein in!  Have him help by putting the fork marks in!
       Ingredients:
                       1/2 cup butter
                       1/2 cup peanut butter
                       1/2 cup granulated sugar
                       1/2 cup packed, brown sugar
                       1 egg
                       1/2 teaspoon vanilla
                       3/4 teaspoon baking powder
                       1 1/4 cups flour
      Combine ingredients as listed.  Place rounded teaspoonfuls, 2 inches apart on cookie sheet.  Use a fork to make crisscross marks on dough.  I keep a fork in a mug of water off to the side for this purpose.  The water stops it from sticking to the dough. Bake 375 degrees for 10 minutes or edges start to brown. 
      REMINDER:  Those with nut allergies should avoid these!  Even traces of peanut butter in your mixer later could set someone off, so please be careful!
      This recipe was originally  from a old children's cookbook by Betty Crocker.  I no longer have it, as it was so well worn it fell apart!  Hopefully they won't mind!

      Well, thanks for stopping by.  It's fun to have someone to celebrate the small victories with now!  I hope you are enjoying the last few weeks of summer.  We are going to do a beach trip next week!  Whoo hoo!  I just love the ocean!  Take care.
                                               Nancy

You Just Never Know !

The HMS Bounty in Newport, RI

Snickerdoodles!

Lemon Squares

     Hello everyone!  I hope you all have been enjoying your summer!  As you can see by my photos, we have been keeping ourselves busy.  The first photo is from our trip to Newport.  My son loves history and architecture.  We try to go to some historical place, museum, etc. every summer with him.  After we toured our state capitol building last year, I asked him where he would want to go this summer.  He immediately, to my surprise, said Newport.  You have to understand that my son hates to get hot or sweaty.  He's basically an indoor type of guy.  I assumed he would eventually change his mind.  As you can see, he did not!  I saw on the television that the Tall Ships were coming to celebrate the bicentennial of 1812.  My son immediately agreed to go.  Really?!?  I had had a couple of conversations over the winter about trying new things.  That maybe you wouldn't be too comfortable the first time, but over time you might get used to it and eventually like it.  Had he really been listening to me and taken it to heart?!?  Apparently he had!
     The three of us- my son, my daughter with ADD and myself- all went to Newport on Friday the 6th of July.  We are a low income family, so we packed our lunch and some water and jumped on the local buses that go to Newport.  The bus ride took an hour and fifteen minutes.  I was nervous because my son will talk nonstop on a bus if he gets nervous.  He did very well.  There was plenty to see out the windows to keep him occupied.  When we got there he did seem rather wound up.  Luckily everyone from the bus poured into the visitors center, leaving us alone outside.  There was a safe place for my son to run, so I told him to go at it.  I could see him start to relax immediately as soon as he started to move.  After a quick sprint he came back over to us.  He was ready to go!
      I have to say we had a lovely time and I learned even more about my son.  Since it was a week day the crowds were not so big.  Always a plus.  Can you see how blue the sky is?!  We had beautiful weather.  Friday was the only day that didn't reach  into the ninety's.  We saw amazing ships.  The HMS Bounty was used in the 1962? movie "The Mutiny on the Bounty".  We also saw/smelled quite a few fish pots! 
     One of the most amazing moments came when we went into The Armory.  It has been turned into an antique dealers paradise.  I originally went in for him to see the building and tried to back out when I saw all the antiques.  To my surprise he became fascinated!  He looked at all the old ship things and even found some globes that interested him.  He didn't run or flap or anything!  I love poking around antiques stores.  It was thrilling to finally find something in common with my son!
      We had a lovely time.  He ended up with a sunburn because he refused to put on sunscreen, but even that didn't phase him.  All he said about it was "No wonder I was feeling so hot." So don't give up on having some good times with your kids.  It may eventually happen, given time and encouragement.  I just read a blog yesterday at www.whatlookslikeordinaryonacrazy.blogspot.com about how this family has finally been able to take their aspie son to baseball games!  Good things are always just around the corner!
     For instance, every week we do a trip to the library.  Last week I found Martha Stewart's Cookies book on the for sale rack for fifty cents!  You can bet I snapped that up!  It was coming unglued so the library decided to get rid of it.  Fine by me!  So far I have made the Lemon Squares (very refreshing) and the Snickerdoodles (yummy!) .  I had no idea when I suggested sprinkling cinnamon on my sugar cookies in one of my first blogs that that was actually what Snickerdoodles are!  Just leave out the vanilla and you are all set to go!  I made them this morning and my kids have already been eating them.  Perhaps I had better end this and get some while I can!  Be writing at you again in about a month.  Hugs to you.  Hope you can find a minute or two to relax!

Breathe!

     Hello everyone!  As the title of my post today suggests, I am breathing again!  My son had his transitional IEP last Monday and it went even better than I had hoped! 
      It started oddly enough with them sending me to the wrong building for the meeting.  My IEP notification had on it for me to go to our school department's Special Education Office.  The meeting was actually at his school, across town.  The lady at the office said she told them to wait as long as it took for me to get there!  Luckily, I was able to reach my husband and he took me right over.
      Once there, the normal room for IEP's was taken.  The teacher's lounge, which is the back up room, was being used for lunch.  We ended up basically in a closet that had one desk, one chair and a computer.  They couldn't even find any extra chairs to bring in!  It had to be the strangest meeting to date that I have ever been to.  The result , though, was wonderful.
      It turned out that the program that his teacher wanted him transitioned to would not take him without a diploma.  There were two other alternatives but she turned them down as not appropriate.  It was decided to keep him in his school for one more year to finish up his credits so he could get a diploma!  Apparently, all he needs is to do a computer class.  He loves computers, so I am not really concerned there.  So now I am cautiously optimistic.
       I do feel bad about one thing.  His teacher said he was one of four boys scheduled to leave this year.  She said if there was one boy who was to stay on for another year, she was glad it was my son.  Does this mean that the other three are leaving without diplomas?  I hope not.  All I can say is stay in touch with your child's teachers.  Let them know through your messages that you know what the laws are concerning your child.  Be as active as you can.  My son also made honor roll 9 out of 16 semesters.  He proved to his school that he is willing to do his all with what the good Lord gave him.  I think it all made a difference.
      Next week is the last week of school for us.  I'm looking forward to a little more sleep!  I'm also looking forward to having fun with my garden plot at a local community garden.  Yes, sadly, one cannot live on cookies alone!  I'm growing green beans, peas and spinach all for the first time.  I read somewhere this week that normal people need to try small amounts of new foods at least 12 to 15 times before they get used it.  Our kids can take even longer.  I'm determined to get my kids on one vegetable this summer!!  I'll let you know how it goes!
      Hugs all around, and I hope I've helped just a little bit!
                                                                                   Nancy

Transitions and Shortbread

     Hello everyone!  Apparently I have the steady few who are still checking me out.  Thank you so much.  I hope I am being a help in some way.
     My first blogs were about my son's life in the past.  This one is going to be about the present and the main reason why I started this blog.  My son is finishing up his last days in high school and will be beginning the transition phase of his education.  I am a novice at this, as many of you  are, so I started doing some research in order to be prepared for his up coming IEP. 
     The first place I went was to www.myautismteam.com.  This is a wonderful site similar to facebook but strictly for those dealing with autism.  I posted a request for any one who had been through a transition before.  No one had, but a wonderful person who goes by Snowy Flamingo gave me a general run down of what should happen.  That jogged my memory to an IEP meeting two years ago.  His teacher said they would slowly get him used to vocational training.  That he would have a job coach and be in school until he was 21 years old.  The year following this meeting he had some vocational training.  This year he was to have more, but he did not.  Did they break any laws?  I got curious.
     My next stop was www.idea.ed.gov.  IDEA stands for the Individuals With Disabilites Education Act.  This is the federal laws they have to follow.  I learned that Part C is for ages birth to age 2.  These are laws regarding early intervention services.  Part B is for ages 3 to 21.  It is very vague and wasn't very reassuring.  It starts off saying that everyone is entitled to a free, appropriate public education.  It also said that the local educational agency shall provide a summary of academic acheivements, etc., etc.  In otherwords an IEP.  No later than age 16 the IEP should start addressing  1. appropriate measurable post secondary goals. 2. Transitional services needed to achieve those goals. 3. Beginning not later than one year before the child reaches the age of majority, a statement that the child has been informed of his rights under Part B.....blah, blah, blah.
     Then it became interesting.  There are state-level funds available for the development and implementation of transitional programs.  Are they sure, in this economy?  Really?  Then the bomb shell hit.  The Local Educational Agency must invite an agency to the IEP meeting but if they don't show up the Local Educational Agency isn't required to obtain participation of an agency in the planning of the transitional services.  WHAT???  If I understand this correctly, that if the agency that is supposed to come to my son's IEP next week doesn't show, they are not required to find him another agency???  He is 18, almost 19.  What's he supposed to do between now and when he is 21 and becomes eligible for other services?  Hopefully all will go well and I am freaking out over nothing.  My state also has their own rules regarding transitional services.  I'll let you know how it all goes. Oh, and even though I am unhappy and feel very unprepared, his school didn't break any laws.  Vocational training starts now.  The last two years were to be the icing on the cake.
     My nerves are shot.  I have laws running around my head.  I need a break.  I give you the simplest recipe that I know.  My heritage is English, Irish and Scottish.  I saw in the library a cook book titled Cooking The English Way by Barbara W. Hill.  I bought it home.  The English have enough good recipes to fill a cookbook???  The answer was yes, and this is the one I wrote down.  It's for shortbread.  It's simple and plain.  Perfect for any autistic child.  I even knew a child who had issues with eggs who used this recipe.  Martha Stewart will give you a list of things to add in if you want, but I like it plain.  It's good with fruit, ice cream or hot chocolate to name a few things.  Here's the recipe.
     1 stick softened unsalted butter  (I use regular butter.)
     3 tablespoons superfine sugar  (I use regular sugar.)
     1 cup flour

     1. Grease your cookie sheet.
     2. Combine the ingredients in order given. It may have a crumb like consistency. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead gently until it forms a smooth dough. (or until stress is relived!)
     3. Form dough into a 6 inch circle, about 1/2 inch thick.  Transfer to cookie sheet.  Prick surface of dough lightly with a fork.  Refrigerate for 20 minutes. (You can cover it and leave it in the frig for longer.)
     4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Bake for about 30 minutes or until edges start to turn light brown. 
     5. Cut bread into 8 triangles and let cool. 
      Shortbread is somewhat crumbly.  Underdone is better than overdone.

      Hugs to you all.  I hope your day hasn't been too hard on you. 
                                                                                      Nancy
    

Chocolate Chip Cookies!

     Hello everyone!  I hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!  My son totally ignored it but the rest of the family made sure I had a great few days! 
     First off, I'd like to thank all of you for checking out my blog.  It's close to 100 views already!  There are apparently many of us needing hugs and willing to give out hugs.  I'm glad we are finding each other.
     My son was born in 1993.  According to the CDC, in 1994 the rate of autism was 6.6 in 1,000 or about 1 in 150 children.  Between then and 2003, diagnoses increased by over 800%.  There are many more now than back when I was getting started with my son.  When I left the doctor's office with my son's diagnosis, I had in my hand a large manilla envelope filled with the current articles of the day about autism.  I was told to read them, to learn about autism. (Autism Speaks wouldn't be around until 2005.)  It was a very lonely time.  I had a friend who had worked in a home with autistic young men who never answered  the letter I sent her asking for support.  My sister, my only sibling, cut off contact with me.  Then I got pregnant again. 
      We were living in a very rural area at this time.  After the baby was born and we knew that she too would need special supports we decided to move back to the east coast where we could get the support they both needed.  The one good thing we learned before we moved was that my son did not have Fragile X.  Once here, we found the supports we needed.  Early intervention programs in Massachusetts and Rhode Island are quite good.  Bradley Hospital in East Providence was really wonderful.  When our son wasn't potty training and he was nearly 5 years old we turned to them.  After some wonderful discussions that made us feel for the first time that we were good parents, they taught us how to train him.  We used a reward system.  He loved matchbox cars.  We let him pick out a new one and then told him he could only have it while he was successfully on the potty.  It worked!  I won't go into how many cars we had to get out of the toilet after being partially flushed!  My poor husband could have got a job as a plumber after all that!
      I realize now that we were very lucky that he potty trained as easily as he did.  If you are having a particularly hard time with it, I urge you to see a professional as we did.  Also, there is a wonderful blog  at www.autism-daddy.blogspot.com.  This wonderful family has a son who has severe autism and is nonverbal.  They are on their third time with potty training and it is successful this time!  The dad wrote a great blog about it that you may find supportive. He is also on facebook and twitter.
      This week I got the letter for my son's next IEP meeting.  I noticed this time it is at the Special Ed office and not at his school.  Also, the organization that will help us deal with his transition out of high school will be there.  I'm so nervous!  Please keep us in your minds on June 4th!  I really hope the end of his education goes as well as the beginning of it did.  On the news here this morning they said that 7 years after high school 1/3 of autistic adults do not have a high school diploma or a job.  I didn't hear whether that was for here or nationwide. 
       Time for a treat!  This is one of my favorite cookies.  I found the recipe on the back of a package of Stop and Shop semi-sweet morsels.  My son was not a chocolate fan when he was young.  It was like he knew he couldn't handle all the sugar.  As he got older it became part of his diet, though he still prefers a plain cookie. I have cut back on the brown sugar and the salt.
       Chocolate Chip Cookies  makes about 3 dozen
       Ingredients:
       1 cup softened butter (two sticks)
       1 cup granulated sugar
       1/3 cup brown sugar
       dash of salt
       2 eggs
       1 teaspoonful vanilla
       1 teaspoonful baking soda
       2 1/4 cups flour
       chocolate chips
       All you have to do is add the ingredients as they are listed.  Hand mix the chips in, as many as you like.  Heat the oven to 350 degrees.  It takes about 10 minutes for them to get golden around the edges.  These are super yummy and quite sweet.  I suggest you stash them away to reward yourself after a bad day!
                               Keep smiling and hugs to you all!
                                                                        Nancy

Sugar Cookies

     My son was three years old when we received his diagnosis of Autism.  To say I was shocked was an understatement.  His doctor said his social skills were below his peers when he was about one and a half, but I had no idea we were heading in this direction.  They told us he might never speak and that he may be sensitive to touch.  He tolerated me holding him and even rocking him in my arms.  I determined to do this every day so that he would stay  used to it.  His early intervention classes through his public school began.
     A year later Child C was born.  We had moved to a place with an inviting convenient store at the end of the road.  My son began to wander out of the house when I was busy with the baby.  We had to put a hook way up on the doors to keep him in.
       A few months later we moved to another state.  Now we lived in a second floor apartment.  My son's wandering came to an end.  Instead, now he would run from one end of the apartment to the other.  He would make noises and stim with whatever toy he had in his hands.  We were told he was motor obsessive. Also about this time is when I noticed that his senses seemed to be going on overload.  We know now that an autistic person can have too many connections in his brain.  With too many signals being triggered, the person gets overloaded very easily.  My son would say the TV was too loud in the morning and then ask us to turn it up at night.  He couldn't stand to be dressed.  As soon as he came home from school, off would go all his clothes but his underwear.  Thank goodness!  He never looked up.  He preferred to look down at the carpet when he moved around. His appetite was very plain, mostly white colored foods of one texture. 
      We were able to overcome some of this.  The first thing I did was to take down every thing that was up on our walls in the main rooms and his bedroom.  This had an amazing impact.  His running incidents decreased.  He started keeping his clothes on,  Well, he takes his shoes off to this day, but at least he stays dressed. He started to look up and around more.  He began to give occasional eye contact. I also kept the house very clean and as neat as possible.  The least amount of clutter, the better it seemed for him.  Yes, my son has turned me into a neat freak now. I can think of worse things. 
      With my son less stimulated by his environment we were able to connect with him more.  His teacher said to keep talking to him like a normal child.  That even though he wouldn't respond or acknowledge, he was listening.  He taught us to place our hand along the side of his face and gently lift it until he was looking at us for important things.  Mostly I just talked to him and then would ask if he heard me and understood.  I would get a shake of the head or an uh huh in response if I was lucky.
      When I look back on these days, 14 years ago, the food I associate with him the most is buttered toast with cinnamon/sugar sprinkled on top.  He ate it daily.  Another favorite was sugar cookies.  Chewy, soft sugar cookies.  Here's the recipe I still use.  I have no idea now where I found it originally.
      1/2 cup butter (that's 1 stick)
       1 cup sugar
       1 large egg
       1 teaspoon vanilla
       1 dash of salt
      3/4 teaspoon baking powder
      1 1/3 cups of flour
      Make sure the butter is softened.  I use butter because I think it makes things taste so much better.  Start with the butter and add ingredients as you go down the list.  It makes a fairly soft dough that you scoop out in teaspoonfuls.  Place them two inches apart on a cookie sheet.  Oven should be 350 degrees.  They take ten to twelve minutes or until the edges begin to turn golden.  Recently we started to sprinkle our old friend cinnamon/sugar on them before baking.  So yummy!
       I hope at the very least you feel less alone now.  I hope I was able to give you some ideas to try with your child.  Make the sugar cookies!  They are plain, and one texture.  Your child should like them.
       Next post will be about potty training and a shortbread recipe.  Until then, take a deep breath and give yourself a hug!   Nancy

Still setting things up!

     Hi all!  I'm finding that posting comments on here may be difficult?  I'm going to try to link this up with a facebook page in the hopes of making this easier.  I don't know how to make a facebook page for my blog but I have messages out to two people who do.  So stay tuned!
      In the meantime, enjoy your weekend.  I just made some oatmeal cookies for church tomorrow.  Yes, I'll be posting that recipe at some point.  So long as I leave the raisins out, my son will eat them.
      I'm also going to be watching the run for the roses later today.  I just love horses and the Kentucky Derby!  I've been watching it since I was a little girl with my mom.
      Alright, I'm done for now.  I promise to write a true blog before this next week is done.  I'm just hoping to make this the best blog possible before I get started. 
                                                                        Nancy

My Very First Post

     Welcome everyone to Autism and Cooking!  I'm not a professional writer.  I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist.  What I am is a mom of three children/young adults.  My oldest, child A, is 22 and is neurotypical.  Child B, my son, is 18 and has mild to moderate autism.  To me he is more moderate than mild.  Child C, is 15 and has ADD (attention deficit disorder) and some pretty severe learning disorders.  My husband has his own set of issues.  Since Child C was born we have been a low income type of family.  We tried having my husband work days and I would work evenings.  That worked out well when the kids were small.  Eleven, almost twelve years ago, I became a stay at home mom.  It's been great as far as managing the kids, but bad financially.  Coming up in the next twelve months I am going to try to find a job.  Yeah, I know, good luck to me in this economy.  Also, Child B will be finishing his high school years and transitioning into the unknown at this point.  Feel free to come along for the ride.  It should be interesting!
      My release from my world of autism and special ed is to bake.  My family loves cookies and I bake them quite often.  I plan to include some of my son's favorites in my posts.  I would also love to hear what your children like to eat and how you get them to eat it.  Let's share and see if we can get our picky eaters to eat better!
       Well, that's it for now.  I look forward to your input and feedback about this new blog of mine.  If you want a decent drop sugar cookie recipe stay tuned for my next blog!  Until then, try and keep a smile on your face!     Nancy