This summer has been one of huge changes for our family. It all started in June with my son's graduation from high school! What a momentous thing! I never thought that he would get issued a diploma. I never thought he would attend graduation. I never thought that he would walk across the stage to get that diploma. Yet, he did all those things....in his own unique way.
The planning began even before his last day of school. We had talked about graduation day each time we had an IEP meeting and what the plans could be. Two days before the end of his schooling he came home with his cap, gown and honor society rope and tassel. He chose not to go to graduation rehearsal. This made me nervous. If he didn't go and practice, how was he going to be able to handle the real thing? His teacher reassured me that they had been though this many times before with other students and he would be fine. I began to be even more nervous that he wouldn't attend graduation when he started to complain about going. He really, really didn't want to go.
Not wanting him to be without some kind of celebration, I decided to surprise him as he came off his bus the last day of school. As luck would have it my husband got out of work early that day. Both his sisters were also home! I had everyone make some signs and we waited on our front porch for the bus to arrive. Of course, it ran late! Finally after what felt like forever, with our neighbors watching us and wondering what in the world we were up to, the bus came down the street. We raised a ruckus and then waited patiently as the neighborhood young men were let off three houses away. Then it was our turn! We yelled, waved our signs and the bus driver started beeping his horn as he made his way to our home. I felt such joy and love for my son. It was nearly overwhelming. Well, I think he was more than a bit surprised because it took him a while to get off the bus! When he came around the bus to our side of the street, his face was a little pink. There was that quiet smile of his though, so I know he appreciated it. He ran right into the house without saying a word and began his after school routine.
Over the weekend I took some time to talk to my son about how graduation wasn't just about him. That his teacher really wanted to see him walk across the stage and about how much it would mean to his father as well (never mind me!). We talked about how much effort we had all put into get him this far and that he should go not only for himself, but for others too. He decided to go. So, first thing Monday morning my son and I were waiting outside the building were the ceremony would be that night. He began pacing, not a good sign. Then his teacher showed up and she had books and things to occupy him with her. "No", he said. "When is thing going to be over?", he said. Luckily we didn't have to wait much longer and in we went. Unfortunately, my son's patience had run out. He was quickly shown the room, tried out a seat and we were told that seats would be reserved for us so that we could show up after most of the speeches were out of the way. Whew!
As planned, we got there with about two speeches to go. We found our reserved seats right by his teacher. He immediately complained. It was too loud, there were too many people. Out the door, into the foyer I went with my son. Pace, pace, pace. We walked and walked, waiting for when the names would be called. I found a water fountain and had a drink. We walked some more. I have to give credit to the folks who work in this building. I heard one voice say," Is he graduating tonight?!" I saw smiles all around as I watched over my son.
Finally it was time. We walked back in and sat down. When he got up to get into line, my hand was on my chest! It was happening! It was really happening! By the time he reached the top of the stairs and was crossing the stage, I was hugging my daughter with tears streaming down my face. I felt like I was watching a miracle through my tears. When we got his diagnosis at three years old, I thought his life was already over. Now here he was, proving me wrong. Proving to me that with help he could even do the things that would make him uncomfortable if he had to. I've never been so proud of my son.
Now I'm sure there are those who are saying "They forced their son to attend graduation! How awful!" No we didn't. We pushed him to his limits, worked with him and saw him through. Next week he begins his vocational training. His first experience will be at a Pizza Hut in the morning, helping set things up. Do you think he will like everything they ask him to do? Do you like everything you're asked to do at work or even at home? No you don't. As with all experiences with my son, graduation was a learning experience for all of us. Learning to do things, even if you don't want to, is necessary in this world. I will never, ever forget watching him cross that stage. It is one of the happiest moments in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment