Sensitivities and school

      For at least the first three years of my son's elementary school years, this is how he looked as soon as he came home off the bus.  Off would come the shoes and socks, quickly followed by the pants or shorts.  Why?  In short, he was extremely over-sensitive to many things.  In my first real blog I talked about how we had to deal with this at home.  With school, the list of things increased. 
      He would only wear certain sneakers.  The ones that would stay on his feet at the store, were the ones that we bought.  Socks had to have the seams running across the top of the toes, not on the ends and sometimes had to be turned inside out.  To this day, he will not wear jeans.  He wears sweat pants because they fit snugly around his waist without the use of a belt.  He will wear a light weight dress pant.  I truly hope that the person who came up with the idea of printing labels on t-shirts, instead of sewing a label on, is a very rich person now.  What a wonderful thing that is!
      So now let's say you actually manage to get your child dressed for school.  You get him to school.  He likes  the school and seems to like his teacher.  Does he/she have a melt down after being there for awhile after initially seeming happy?  I read an article that said that even the pitch, volume or timbre of a new voice in class can set some kids off.  Was there a fire drill that day?  Those loud noises can really be jarring to our kids.  Suggest to the teacher to be warned way ahead of time.  That way they can practice, and parents can make the choice to keep their child home that day if necessary.   Did the melt down occur during gym?  Some children have a hard time with the whistle that gym teacher's blow to get the children's attention.  Suggest to the teacher to give your child a warning before he/she blows the whistle or come up with another method to get everyone's attention.  Some children don't like to feel hot or sweaty.  They may need frequent breaks.
       Some children are over-sensitive to odors.  We have had this problem at our house.  Some children can react to a smell 1 to 3 hours later after smelling it.  Here is a list of things to watch out for: perfumes, soaps, lotions, deodorants, hairsprays, air fresheners, gases from things like new rugs, plastics, rubber, paints, and paint thinners.  Children with a runny nose like allergies or itchy skin may be suffering from these kind of things.  I must say that my son's elementary school teachers were very good about this.  They never wore perfume or anything with an odor.  Windows were open as much as possible.  The floors were linoleum except for a small rug in the reading area.  Speak with your child's teacher if you think the room needs improvements and suggest ideas.  Don't just complain. 
       As far as the home scene, my eldest daughter loves all things smelly!  I felt that I could not restrict her in these things, but she is made to keep it to a minimum and to always have her bedroom window open as she is spraying.  I also have an air purifier in my bedroom so we have a "clean" room to go to if someone needs a break from a particular odor. All I can say is that it works for us.  My children also happen to suffer at times from seasonal allergies.  Claritin is a staple in our medicine cabinet when needed.  Always talk to your children's doctor before giving them a new over the counter medicine.
       School starts for us tomorrow.  I truly hope you all have a smooth transition back to or starting school.  I have found that there is always something to be dealt with every year with both of my SpEd kids.  This year my son wasn't put on the list to get a bus to school.  Not sure how long that is going to take to fix or how I'm going to get him to school in the meantime.  My daughter?  She isn't going to get her schedule until she walks into the door of school this year.  Her IEP is in the fall, so we have no idea what she is taking, with whom or if it is even appropriate for her.  I'll be walking with her to school to find out what is what. 
      I do have an after school snack idea for you- corn bread.  It's plain and simple.  I buy  the cheap corn muffin/bread mix that comes in the little boxes for about a dollar.  I stock up when they are on sale.  My son loves it warm from the oven!  It can be crumbly, so try to not over bake it. 
      My best to all of you.  As always, I hope I have helped someone if only in a little way.  Hugs to you all!
                                                     Nancy

Transitioning to a new school

     As a mother of three, I have gone through my fair share of transitions to new schools.  I've seen lots of posts on this topic and thought I would add my voice as well.
     To me the work of transitioning begins in the spring.  The schools here hold open houses in the spring and I went to them all.  I talked to the principal, the teachers, poked my nose into the  classrooms.  I made sure I got a good feel of the school before choosing it as my child's new school.
     With school just two weeks away, we are backing up our bedtime.  I saw a recommendation of backing up 15 minutes at a time.  You should get them (and yourself!) up earlier too.  I know, I hate getting up early!  During the summer I usually sleep until around 9am.  School days require me to be up at 6:30. Ugh!  Time for me to get ready.  Luckily my son is a natural early riser! 
      Prepare a one page brief about your child's disability and the assistance they will be needing.  Include allergies and any safety precautions.  Their old teacher will be sending their folder of information along, but it takes time to get to the new school.  Also, teachers just don't have the time to read through the mountains of paper that are usually there except during IEP meetings. Sorry, but that's the truth.
      Attend any and all orientation events.  Renew relationships started during the open house.  Again, talk with the principal, head of Special Ed., the school nurse and the teacher.  You can say something like " I'm so excited that Bobby will be attending your school!  We chose this school because....I think Bobby will be happy here because......I look forward to working with you.
       If for some reason your school doesn't do an open house or orientation, you could write a social story.  I'd also do a drive  by the school.  Let them get out and walk around a bit in the school yard.  Anything to make it more familiar to them. If they are going to go by bus for the first time, go to the bus yard.  Let them see and touch a bus.  Remember how visual our kids are.  Anything they can see, touch, hear will help them adjust to the school.
       I'd let them ride the bus the very first day.  Meet them at the school with lots of praise. Then take them in to meet the new teacher.  Of course, if  your child is older you may not have to go through all this.
       My last bit of advice is once you are certain your child is safe at school, that all their accommodations are being met, and they seem happy there--it's time to leave.  It took two weeks of going back and forth to get my daughter settled in middle school and just as long last year for high school.  Maybe your child will be all set the first day of school.  I certainly hope so!  It's a skill to learn from someone other than your parent and our kids need that.  They need to stand on their own two feet in a safe environment without you hovering once all the kinks are worked out.  Cutting the apron strings, as it used to be called, is good for you and them.  Go home, enjoy the quiet, watch your favorite soap and bake a batch of cookies for after school!!
       Enjoy these last two weeks with your children!  We still have a trip to the beach planned and a trip to get soft-served ice cream.  Yumm!
                                                 Nancy 

Teens with Executive Function Disorder « Smart Kids With LD

Teens with Executive Function Disorder « Smart Kids With LD  .  I saw this interesting article on my facebook page and decided to try and share it with you.  I have a daughter with ADD and this looks to me like good information.     Nancy

Shave and a haircut

     Hello everyone!  I've been wanting to write this blog for a long time.  As a matter of fact this is what got me to start blogging in the first place.  When my son was finally able to shave all on his own last year, I had no one to celebrate with.  There was no one I knew, besides his teacher, who would even understand.  I knew I had to find some others like myself and so I started exploring on facebook.  I found many blogs from mothers with young children and finally through them I found some mothers with older children.  It's been quite the journey reaching out to you all.  I don't have many people checking me out.  I don't mind.  I just hope I help the few that do.
      A number of the things that I read are about the trauma of getting our children's haircut.  My experience wasn't any different at first.  We took him to the hairdresser and he didn't even make it to the chair!  He totally wigged out and had to be removed from the store.  I apologized and offered to pay.  The nice young lady replied "Why?  I never got to cut his hair!"  Upon returning home, I informed my son that his hair was going to be getting cut and that I was going to do it.  Now I'm not a professional hairdresser and all I had been doing was trimming my daughter's bangs up to this point, but I knew I had to try.  The result was the "bowl cut" you see above.  It was all I could manage with all his wriggling around. Sometimes it took more that one sitting to accomplish this.  I remember sending him to school with one side of his bangs done once!  I found that by giving him control over how long it took by either stopping for the day if it was real bad, or taking a short break on a good day, he grew to tolerate getting his haircut.  When he was just about to enter middle school, a young lady in my church decided to teach the women in my church how to give a haircut!  I was thrilled!  She taught me how to layer and not be so afraid to whack away at my son's hair!  As I learned and practiced, so my son learned to sit longer and longer for me.  Finally the day came when my husband said that my haircuts just weren't hitting the mark anymore.  It was time for another trip to the hairdresser.  Only we didn't take him to a hairdresser, we took him to this old barber, with his own little shop.  There was only one chair.  The clients were all over fifty and quite compassionate as we struggled to get him adjusted.  It wasn't until he grew big enough to sit in the chair without a pad under him that he finally was able to relax in the chair. Eventually a few years after that I took him to a chain hairdresser for a more "handsome" haircut  than the buzz cut that the barber always gave him.  It's been smooth sailing ever since.
      Of course, by this time my son was starting to grow facial hair.  I thought I had a new nightmare on my hands.  His dad has a mustache and thankfully my son said he'd like one too.  Whew!  That put it off for awhile.  Eventually the night came though that the shaving had to begin.  I made him watch his father and he got all nervous, running around.  As with everything, I had to be the one to do it. He immediately took over putting the shaving cream on.  Yes!  Take control, my son! He put it on a finger full at a time, as if he was fingerpainting his face, but he put it on!  I had to do the shaving. When he had to start shaving every day, he was no where near taking it all over on his own.  We decided to buy an electric razor.  It is somewhat thin like the hand razor he was used to seeing.  I was worried that the buzzing and vibration might bother him.  He did get all wiggly the first time we tried.  The second time, I made him try to do some.  The night he took the razor from my hand and said he would do it, I let out a yell!  I was so excited!  He has been taking care of  his face ever since.  Well, okay, I still get called in to trim his mustache every so often!  Young man has to look good! 
       For today's stress relief, I recommend peanut butter cookies.  If your child likes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he'll probably like these too. A sneaky way to get a wee bit more of protein in!  Have him help by putting the fork marks in!
       Ingredients:
                       1/2 cup butter
                       1/2 cup peanut butter
                       1/2 cup granulated sugar
                       1/2 cup packed, brown sugar
                       1 egg
                       1/2 teaspoon vanilla
                       3/4 teaspoon baking powder
                       1 1/4 cups flour
      Combine ingredients as listed.  Place rounded teaspoonfuls, 2 inches apart on cookie sheet.  Use a fork to make crisscross marks on dough.  I keep a fork in a mug of water off to the side for this purpose.  The water stops it from sticking to the dough. Bake 375 degrees for 10 minutes or edges start to brown. 
      REMINDER:  Those with nut allergies should avoid these!  Even traces of peanut butter in your mixer later could set someone off, so please be careful!
      This recipe was originally  from a old children's cookbook by Betty Crocker.  I no longer have it, as it was so well worn it fell apart!  Hopefully they won't mind!

      Well, thanks for stopping by.  It's fun to have someone to celebrate the small victories with now!  I hope you are enjoying the last few weeks of summer.  We are going to do a beach trip next week!  Whoo hoo!  I just love the ocean!  Take care.
                                               Nancy

You Just Never Know !

The HMS Bounty in Newport, RI

Snickerdoodles!

Lemon Squares

     Hello everyone!  I hope you all have been enjoying your summer!  As you can see by my photos, we have been keeping ourselves busy.  The first photo is from our trip to Newport.  My son loves history and architecture.  We try to go to some historical place, museum, etc. every summer with him.  After we toured our state capitol building last year, I asked him where he would want to go this summer.  He immediately, to my surprise, said Newport.  You have to understand that my son hates to get hot or sweaty.  He's basically an indoor type of guy.  I assumed he would eventually change his mind.  As you can see, he did not!  I saw on the television that the Tall Ships were coming to celebrate the bicentennial of 1812.  My son immediately agreed to go.  Really?!?  I had had a couple of conversations over the winter about trying new things.  That maybe you wouldn't be too comfortable the first time, but over time you might get used to it and eventually like it.  Had he really been listening to me and taken it to heart?!?  Apparently he had!
     The three of us- my son, my daughter with ADD and myself- all went to Newport on Friday the 6th of July.  We are a low income family, so we packed our lunch and some water and jumped on the local buses that go to Newport.  The bus ride took an hour and fifteen minutes.  I was nervous because my son will talk nonstop on a bus if he gets nervous.  He did very well.  There was plenty to see out the windows to keep him occupied.  When we got there he did seem rather wound up.  Luckily everyone from the bus poured into the visitors center, leaving us alone outside.  There was a safe place for my son to run, so I told him to go at it.  I could see him start to relax immediately as soon as he started to move.  After a quick sprint he came back over to us.  He was ready to go!
      I have to say we had a lovely time and I learned even more about my son.  Since it was a week day the crowds were not so big.  Always a plus.  Can you see how blue the sky is?!  We had beautiful weather.  Friday was the only day that didn't reach  into the ninety's.  We saw amazing ships.  The HMS Bounty was used in the 1962? movie "The Mutiny on the Bounty".  We also saw/smelled quite a few fish pots! 
     One of the most amazing moments came when we went into The Armory.  It has been turned into an antique dealers paradise.  I originally went in for him to see the building and tried to back out when I saw all the antiques.  To my surprise he became fascinated!  He looked at all the old ship things and even found some globes that interested him.  He didn't run or flap or anything!  I love poking around antiques stores.  It was thrilling to finally find something in common with my son!
      We had a lovely time.  He ended up with a sunburn because he refused to put on sunscreen, but even that didn't phase him.  All he said about it was "No wonder I was feeling so hot." So don't give up on having some good times with your kids.  It may eventually happen, given time and encouragement.  I just read a blog yesterday at www.whatlookslikeordinaryonacrazy.blogspot.com about how this family has finally been able to take their aspie son to baseball games!  Good things are always just around the corner!
     For instance, every week we do a trip to the library.  Last week I found Martha Stewart's Cookies book on the for sale rack for fifty cents!  You can bet I snapped that up!  It was coming unglued so the library decided to get rid of it.  Fine by me!  So far I have made the Lemon Squares (very refreshing) and the Snickerdoodles (yummy!) .  I had no idea when I suggested sprinkling cinnamon on my sugar cookies in one of my first blogs that that was actually what Snickerdoodles are!  Just leave out the vanilla and you are all set to go!  I made them this morning and my kids have already been eating them.  Perhaps I had better end this and get some while I can!  Be writing at you again in about a month.  Hugs to you.  Hope you can find a minute or two to relax!

Breathe!

     Hello everyone!  As the title of my post today suggests, I am breathing again!  My son had his transitional IEP last Monday and it went even better than I had hoped! 
      It started oddly enough with them sending me to the wrong building for the meeting.  My IEP notification had on it for me to go to our school department's Special Education Office.  The meeting was actually at his school, across town.  The lady at the office said she told them to wait as long as it took for me to get there!  Luckily, I was able to reach my husband and he took me right over.
      Once there, the normal room for IEP's was taken.  The teacher's lounge, which is the back up room, was being used for lunch.  We ended up basically in a closet that had one desk, one chair and a computer.  They couldn't even find any extra chairs to bring in!  It had to be the strangest meeting to date that I have ever been to.  The result , though, was wonderful.
      It turned out that the program that his teacher wanted him transitioned to would not take him without a diploma.  There were two other alternatives but she turned them down as not appropriate.  It was decided to keep him in his school for one more year to finish up his credits so he could get a diploma!  Apparently, all he needs is to do a computer class.  He loves computers, so I am not really concerned there.  So now I am cautiously optimistic.
       I do feel bad about one thing.  His teacher said he was one of four boys scheduled to leave this year.  She said if there was one boy who was to stay on for another year, she was glad it was my son.  Does this mean that the other three are leaving without diplomas?  I hope not.  All I can say is stay in touch with your child's teachers.  Let them know through your messages that you know what the laws are concerning your child.  Be as active as you can.  My son also made honor roll 9 out of 16 semesters.  He proved to his school that he is willing to do his all with what the good Lord gave him.  I think it all made a difference.
      Next week is the last week of school for us.  I'm looking forward to a little more sleep!  I'm also looking forward to having fun with my garden plot at a local community garden.  Yes, sadly, one cannot live on cookies alone!  I'm growing green beans, peas and spinach all for the first time.  I read somewhere this week that normal people need to try small amounts of new foods at least 12 to 15 times before they get used it.  Our kids can take even longer.  I'm determined to get my kids on one vegetable this summer!!  I'll let you know how it goes!
      Hugs all around, and I hope I've helped just a little bit!
                                                                                   Nancy

Transitions and Shortbread

     Hello everyone!  Apparently I have the steady few who are still checking me out.  Thank you so much.  I hope I am being a help in some way.
     My first blogs were about my son's life in the past.  This one is going to be about the present and the main reason why I started this blog.  My son is finishing up his last days in high school and will be beginning the transition phase of his education.  I am a novice at this, as many of you  are, so I started doing some research in order to be prepared for his up coming IEP. 
     The first place I went was to www.myautismteam.com.  This is a wonderful site similar to facebook but strictly for those dealing with autism.  I posted a request for any one who had been through a transition before.  No one had, but a wonderful person who goes by Snowy Flamingo gave me a general run down of what should happen.  That jogged my memory to an IEP meeting two years ago.  His teacher said they would slowly get him used to vocational training.  That he would have a job coach and be in school until he was 21 years old.  The year following this meeting he had some vocational training.  This year he was to have more, but he did not.  Did they break any laws?  I got curious.
     My next stop was www.idea.ed.gov.  IDEA stands for the Individuals With Disabilites Education Act.  This is the federal laws they have to follow.  I learned that Part C is for ages birth to age 2.  These are laws regarding early intervention services.  Part B is for ages 3 to 21.  It is very vague and wasn't very reassuring.  It starts off saying that everyone is entitled to a free, appropriate public education.  It also said that the local educational agency shall provide a summary of academic acheivements, etc., etc.  In otherwords an IEP.  No later than age 16 the IEP should start addressing  1. appropriate measurable post secondary goals. 2. Transitional services needed to achieve those goals. 3. Beginning not later than one year before the child reaches the age of majority, a statement that the child has been informed of his rights under Part B.....blah, blah, blah.
     Then it became interesting.  There are state-level funds available for the development and implementation of transitional programs.  Are they sure, in this economy?  Really?  Then the bomb shell hit.  The Local Educational Agency must invite an agency to the IEP meeting but if they don't show up the Local Educational Agency isn't required to obtain participation of an agency in the planning of the transitional services.  WHAT???  If I understand this correctly, that if the agency that is supposed to come to my son's IEP next week doesn't show, they are not required to find him another agency???  He is 18, almost 19.  What's he supposed to do between now and when he is 21 and becomes eligible for other services?  Hopefully all will go well and I am freaking out over nothing.  My state also has their own rules regarding transitional services.  I'll let you know how it all goes. Oh, and even though I am unhappy and feel very unprepared, his school didn't break any laws.  Vocational training starts now.  The last two years were to be the icing on the cake.
     My nerves are shot.  I have laws running around my head.  I need a break.  I give you the simplest recipe that I know.  My heritage is English, Irish and Scottish.  I saw in the library a cook book titled Cooking The English Way by Barbara W. Hill.  I bought it home.  The English have enough good recipes to fill a cookbook???  The answer was yes, and this is the one I wrote down.  It's for shortbread.  It's simple and plain.  Perfect for any autistic child.  I even knew a child who had issues with eggs who used this recipe.  Martha Stewart will give you a list of things to add in if you want, but I like it plain.  It's good with fruit, ice cream or hot chocolate to name a few things.  Here's the recipe.
     1 stick softened unsalted butter  (I use regular butter.)
     3 tablespoons superfine sugar  (I use regular sugar.)
     1 cup flour

     1. Grease your cookie sheet.
     2. Combine the ingredients in order given. It may have a crumb like consistency. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead gently until it forms a smooth dough. (or until stress is relived!)
     3. Form dough into a 6 inch circle, about 1/2 inch thick.  Transfer to cookie sheet.  Prick surface of dough lightly with a fork.  Refrigerate for 20 minutes. (You can cover it and leave it in the frig for longer.)
     4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Bake for about 30 minutes or until edges start to turn light brown. 
     5. Cut bread into 8 triangles and let cool. 
      Shortbread is somewhat crumbly.  Underdone is better than overdone.

      Hugs to you all.  I hope your day hasn't been too hard on you. 
                                                                                      Nancy